Boat people seen heading to Africa
Thousands of boat people have been spotted on a ship a few hundred kilometres from the West Australian coast, apparently heading towards the east coast of Africa. It is believed the boat people paid several thousand dollars each for a place on board, in order to escape “torturous” financial markets and “oppressive” Australian weather conditions.
Speaking from his personal satellite phone, Charles, a 55-year-old Sydney resident, said he and his fellow Queen Elizabeth II shipmates had experienced severe psychological trauma after their million dollar share portfolios were “cut in half” by ruthless market activity. Others had suffered from the drought, with the Australian sun claiming their farmland, prize-winning livestock, and in some cases, urban patio gardens.
“It’s been a nightmare, really, just awful,” Charles, a former investment fund manager, told Real Slow News Day. “I saw my beloved Macquarie stock took a beating, and I just couldn’t stand it. It broke my spirit.” The only option, according to the Sydneysider, was to “seek refuge in Africa, where I hope what’s left of our money still has value.”
Another weary traveller, Richard, of Melbourne’s beachside suburb, Brighton, shared his horror stories and the dread of living day-to-day. “My wife and I were afraid to even walk out the front door,” he said. “Melbourne’s weather is so unpredictable, we just couldn’t know whether it would be sunny or rainy or whatever – a day trip to the Yarra Valley became a game of Russian Roulette. We might find some relief in Zanzibar.”
Australian authorities have alerted African countries of the boat’s impending arrival, and the reaction so far has been positive.
“We welcome all westerners seeking refuge in our country,” Mauritian Prime Minister, Navin Ramgoolam, said today. “I understand the occupants have experienced many hardships and injustices in their country, and we are only too happy to provide them with shelter, food, and as much fine wine as they can handle.”
“My only hope,” Ramgoolam added, “is that Australians can return the favour.”
