Brumby’s ice-cream budget blowout
Victorian Premier John Brumby was forced to respond to fierce criticism from his wife today, after she received very little change from a $100 bill, money she reportedly gave him to get “one bloody tub of ice-cream.”
The ice cream budget blowout is just the latest in a series of financial disasters for Brumby Labor. Having somehow survived the waves of criticism following the Southern Cross station redevelopment, the Fast Rail project, and the myki-card debacle – all of which ran over budget and over time – the Premier again found himself in hot water, this time with his partner Rosemary.
Speaking from the front step of his Toorak home, Brumby admitted that the cost of the ice cream had run unexpectedly over budget, but added that he was not to blame.
“Buying ice-cream is not a rudimentary exercise, as some would have my family believe,” he argued. “My son and I were given a sizeable task, and, given the multitudes of variables involved – brand, flavor, size – I feel we have performed extremely well in the circumstances.”
Mrs Brumby, speaking loudly through the locked front door, replied “That doesn’t explain why you’re so late, John. That was dessert for Monday night, and it’s now Saturday.”
“Well dear, our daughters were concerned about our carbon footprint,” the embattled Premier replied, “…so I felt it prudent to hire a crack-team of consultants to assess our method of transportation, the production costs of the confectionery and its packaging, any associated damage to wildlife, and whether Haagen-Dazs is really all that.”
“According to our inquiries and a State Commission’s, it is.”
After intense negotiations that lasted well over fifteen minutes, the state leader was allowed back into the family home, but only after promising not to charge a toll to access the refrigerator. He reluctantly agreed.
