Opening Ceremony Sham
Controversy continues to surround Beijing’s Olympic Opening Ceremony, as an investigation has revealed that the elaborate production was, in fact, entirely staged.
Just a week after it was reported that nine-year-old Lin Miaoke had mimed her songs at the ceremony, comes the news that the $100 million event was nothing more than expensive theatrics.
“Just another example of the ruling party’s pride!” said one keen-eyed and anonymous Australian observer, pointing to his close-up photographs of the astronaut segment. “I mean, fancy trying the old fake-astronaut trick on the whole world in this day and age. That one’s been around for forty years.”
Further theatrical displays included the giant white dove of peace (not real), the flying torch bearer (suspended by wires), the entry of the Chinese Taipei team into the stadium (actors), and basketballer Yao Ming (two circus performers standing on shoulders).
Other watchers were much more critical, with some even hinting of human rights violations. “The disrespect shown for international guests is awful and unforgivable,” said an American tourist who wished to remain nameless. “What an abuse of our eyes and ears! I bet they don’t treat their own citizens like this.”
In a press conference late yesterday, Olympic Committee spokesman Sun Weide confirmed people’s suspicions, but added the committee’s motives were pure. “This was the last option. Honestly, do you know how hard it is, for example, to train a man to fly? We lost 658 brave patriots before we were forced to consider actors.”
When asked what “forced” the committee to resort to the alternative, Weide responded “…time.”
